Elphaba: you're the only friend I've ever had.

Glinda: and I've had so many friends

Audience: *laughs*

Glinda: but only one that mattered

Audience: *cries*






boyfriend or girlfriend requirements:

  • you have to kill the spider

but spiders are cute and innocent! it should be:

  • you have to catch the spider and release it in the garden


boyfriend or girlfriend requirements:

  • just get that spider away from me i don’t care if you send it to italy just get it away


you’re right

we will send it to france


(Source: beastector, via lanadippedinsugar)

*Ice monster attacks*

Robin Hood: Our arrows aren't stopping it!

Emma: Neither is my magic. What do we do?

*Regina kills ice monster with fireball*

Emma: Wow, how did you do that?

Regina: It's a fucking ICE monster.

Emma: Oh.

Robin: Ah.

Regina: I'm surrounded by fucking idiots.

Emma: For future reference, how do you conjure up a fireball?

Regina: I already taught you that. Weren't you paying attention?

Emma: I got distracted.

Regina: By what?

Emma: Your eyes.

Regina: Understandable.

Marian: Robin, are you really sure that the Evil Queen was your girlfriend?

Robin: Of course.

Marian: Not Emma's?

Robin. What? Why would you ever think that?

Marian: Dude, they're making out behind that tree?


Robin: Ah.









10 things not to say to a women

this is guaranteed way to get yourself murdered

Somebody did this to my friend once, she was like


PSA cramps are just the feeling we get when the muscle of our uterus is literally tearing itself to shreds if you were wondering what the bloody stuff was in the first place and /that/ is why this is a Not Good thing to say

Actually a lot of the time cramps are caused by the muscles in our uterus spasming in order to cut off the blood flow to the uterus. Our uterus is basically trying to kill itself which is why your abdomen feels like death.

Also, the hormone that causes it? The first hormone of labor. So, when we get our periods we are literally starting labor for a week. How about that?

basically stab yourself in your lower stomach a thousand times with a dull knife and you’ll know how it feels

fucking thank you

it’s 20 times worse when you have an ovarian cyst to go along with your PSA cramps….trust me…been having them for 10 years I almost always end up having to go to the hospital because I’m in so much pain where I’m throwing up. can’t eat. can’t move really. and heating pads and pain pills don’t help jack shit. and hey feel like curling up into a ball?? guess what?? MAKES IT WORSE!!! the hospital usually gives me high powered sleeping meds and Oxy till I can actually walk without sobbing….

(via theshylittleprince)

personal as shit i seriously go through this shit almost every other month